The morning after my return home from a month away, I was greeted by the sights and sounds of springtime (robins, peepers, budding trees) and hugs from community mates, all saying “welcome home”. So lovely! I felt ready to jump back in to DR life. Aaaand the next day fell ill and missed two-plus weeks of community action. So it goes.
Tereza here with news of the past week at Dancing Rabbit. There was potluck at Sandhill, and Friday community dinner, and follow up from Land Clean endeavors, and carrot cake at the Mercantile on Thursday night, and a concert by Anna Laube, all of which I missed. (If you know me you can probably guess that I was most sad about missing the cake.)
I was very glad to make it to a support circle, requested by Kassandra, held in Casa on Thursday evening. Fifteen of us met with her to offer support on some challenging issues she’s facing. There was discussion, sharing, and a powerful “human sculpture” exercise.
As helpful as it was for her, it was also good for the supporters; at least it was for me. I felt connected with the group, and happy and proud to live in a place where asking for and offering this kind of support is valued.
The next day I felt lousy again, and worried that I might not be able to attend the long-awaited training planned for the weekend. Luckily, by Saturday morning I felt well enough to go.
Every few months the Process Team offers short trainings, usually done by Rabbits or neighbors, on topics such as notetaking, consensus, and DR’s decision-making process. But every two years or so they organize a more major offering, usually bringing in outside trainers. This year three people came from the Matrix Leadership Institute for a two day full-community learning event, and I thought it was a great experience.
A majority of Rabbits attended, at least part of the time. Still unwell, I was horizontal and confused for most of the first day, but even through my hazy brain fog I could tell that the tools we were learning and practicing were helping people feel closer and more connected.
Nathan seemed to get the theory more than I did, so I asked him for a summary. He said that the “matrix” in the name refers to the collection of connections (or “pipes”) between all the individuals and subgroups within a group. Each pipe represents the flow of information between different entities within the group.
The more that information can flow freely between all the pipes within the matrix, while in front of the whole group, the more intelligent, flexible and resilient the group becomes, and the more leadership emerges spontaneously from different places within the matrix to address the needs and issues facing the group.
Nathan also said: “At first I was skeptical that we were going to get anything new from the training; by the end I thought the results were amazing and profound. While we still have real differences and tough decisions to make, I feel a much greater connection and sense of hope that we can value our differences and move forward in a way that honors all the different intelligences and gifts within our community.”
I heard a number of Rabbits say they gained new understanding about feedback, especially around separating intent and impact when communicating about our actions. We learned about giving appreciative feedback (“when you said or did x, the impact on me was y”) and differentiating feedback (same construction, adding “and I would prefer z”).
The idea seems to be that if a group can get used to offering feedback (of both kinds) regularly and easily, it can become something people like and want, rather than something to dread.
All in all it was an interesting and powerful two days. The feeling in the air reminded me of some of our annual retreats “back in the old days”: lots of emotion, lots of excitement, and feeling close with everyone, even those I had staunch disagreements with.
At the end of the weekend Dee said something along the lines of: “This could revolutionize sustainable relationships the same way the solar oven revolutionized sustainable cooking.” I heartily agree.
I’m so glad to be living in a place where so many of us are willing to show up, be vulnerable, share what’s true for us, and connect. Here’s wishing you connection in your community, too!
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Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage is an intentional community and nonprofit outside Rutledge, in northeast Missouri, focused on demonstrating sustainable living possibilities. Find out more about us by visiting our website, reading our blog, or emailing us.