Whenever I go somewhere else, it’s always a great opportunity to get a fresh view of life here at Dancing Rabbit. I think that I, as all humans do, often focus on what I’m doing wrong, on ways to improve things. And when I live with a small group of people who are also trying to do the best they can and who don’t have to work 50 hours a week to pay for rent, food and gas, then yeah, we can spend a lot of time just focusing on ways we are falling short.
Christina here, writing about superpowers, kryptonite, and how people keep leaving hair in the shower drain.
I was recently visiting a fairly different community of a similar size in terms of number of people that was very different in many other ways. I spent five days at a “care farm” in Northwest Wisconsin acting as a chaperone for my son’s visiting class. This community had a mixture of adults with intellectual disabilities who need more support and the other adults who support them, and the community grows enough food to feed almost 300 people. This means that while they have a similar number of people, they are a lot more united than we are when it comes to purpose and daily life.
One of the members asked me a question that I have been thinking about ever since. As we were weeding quackgrass from opposite sides of a bed of oregano and comparing our different experiences with different communities, she said, “What is the superpower of your community?” Then she added, “And the superpower is often the kryptonite.”
This was such a great question that I had to think for a day before I could even come up with an answer. I did ask her what her answer was for their community, and she said it’s their flexibility, which means their kryptonite is that things can be a bit chaotic.
As I mentioned, I think it’s hard to focus on what we’re doing well because it’s so much easier to notice the gaps and problems. But after thinking about it, I decided that for me, it’s the sharing and the willingness to experiment that are our superpowers.
Saying “sharing” while I was visiting a community that is literally income sharing felt a little embarrassing—obviously they do it so much better!—but there is something about sharing showers, a common house, garden, kitchens, and yes, cars, that both forces community and makes it very challenging at times. In fact, I personally don’t share a kitchen because I find it too hard to compromise on food (I want to eat as much sour cream as I want and also yes, there must be a pickled element to every meal).
Juggling car schedules, working in the garden when people don’t show up who said they would, and taking the hair out of the shower drain that’s definitely not mine—yeah, that all really stinks. But on the other hand, the conversations we have in shared car rides, knowing someone else is watering the new seedlings when I am away, or not having to actually scrub the shower myself every week—that’s all pretty great. It also means that we are using fewer resources and, most importantly, driving a lot less than we would otherwise.
Additionally, I have come to learn that I really prefer to spend time with people while we engage in an activity, such as talking while we weed, stack wood, or organize the free store. Sharing these things also really helps me to have a greater connection with my fellow communitarians.
The other superpower I settled on was our willingness to experiment. I think this is actually one that makes things confusing for visitors and even seems to have a rub with a lot of the original goals of the ecovillage. Whether we like it or not, it’s not “come visit our village where we have everything figured out and we will teach you how to save the earth and humanity,” but more “welcome to our ecovillage where we continue to make mistakes, sometimes the same ones over and over, but where we think we’ve learned lessons from our willingness to fail.”
I think visitors are often disappointed by that, and they often expect us to have things a lot more figured out and “right” than we do. I too, like pretty much all humans, think failing is awful and I would much prefer to never get anything wrong. But as we are trying to figure out ways to do things that are not the same as the “default world,” we are going to have to experiment. And experimenting means not always getting it right on the first, or even the third try.
I have yet another trip on the horizon, and I’m realizing that as much as I love the experience of travel, a big part of why I do it is because it helps me appreciate my own life more. I’m sitting in bed writing the first draft of this post in my notebook as the birds chirp and the rain falls in my garden. Why would I ever leave this place?
But I also know that I will definitely come home with a newfound appreciation for our superpowers and yes, our kryptonite as well.
Christina Lovdal-Gil is a regular contributing writer to this newsletter, and overall instigator for social events in the village.
Upcoming Event: Silvopasture Field Day. Curious about how trees, livestock, and forage connect? Join us Monday, June 8, from 1:00 PM to 4:00 PM for an immersive look at multi-species pasturing and agroforestry design. This NRCS supported event is free and oriented to farmers, landowners and natural resource professionals, and includes a pasture tour, demonstrations, a light meal and refreshments, three free trees for attending farmers, and access to exclusive funding microgrants. Parking is at the main Dancing Rabbit entrance. Registration is required–sign up today at: https://knownandgrownstl.org/events/field-day-at-fox-holler-farmstead/ .