As I sit and type on my computer, there is snow on the ground, my Charlie Brown Christmas tree is lit up and decorated with a mixture of homemade decorations and some cheap silver balls, and the house is cold because we haven’t lit a fire yet.
Christina here, writing about my life at Dancing Rabbit in early December.
I have to say that I enjoy living in a place where November and December are quiet months, with many people “hibernating” (aka chilling at home by the fire). For me, this is a big change from the summer months where I am rushing to the garden, or to take the dog out before it gets too hot outside. It’s also a big change from my former life when December felt like a mad rush to get to the end, and I often ended up sick over winter break from the pure exhaustion of it all.
These days, I’m getting back in bed in the morning with my coffee to read where it’s still warm, and taking my time in the mornings to do yoga and make breakfast before I get moving on the tasks and chores on my lists. I have a lot more spaciousness in my schedule–with no garden parties, no programs or visitors, and few dairy co-op responsibilities–something that in the busy months from April to September seems almost impossible.
Even after 10 years of this life, I still deeply appreciate being at home in my own house during the daylight hours, after years of leaving in the dark and coming home in the dark.
The house is especially quiet these days because for the first time in about 19 years, both of my kids are away at school this year. I miss them a lot! But I also enjoy not having to dictate my sleep schedule around them. Being able to go to bed early (in a quiet house!) and get up early (without having to worry about making too much noise while I make coffee!) has been pretty awesome. Living in a 750 square foot house with four people and a loud dog is fun, but wow does it get chaotic at times.
Something else that is new in my life is that I have joined another committee. This week marks my first time back on MARC (the membership and residency committee) since somewhere around 2018. On the one hand, I appreciate committee work that is more concrete and task-oriented compared to my other committees, which seem so meta and abstract a lot of the time.
On other hand, being on this new committee has me thinking of more big questions without any real answers.
As the committee responsible for shepherding new residents and members through the process, there is a lot of responsibility. Even just the phrasing of a single question in the interview can feel like something that might have consequences for who ends up being here and who doesn’t.
As someone who really loves this lifestyle and appreciates all the benefits that village life brings for me, I want everyone to have the opportunities that I have. But I also know that community life isn’t for everyone, and for some it can be actually more harmful than good.
We give up a lot to live here–from access to good restaurants, to proximity to family, to the ease of hopping in a car and going where you want when you want, to the anonymity of living in a place where your neighbors are not all in your personal business, to the joy of having a house with a thermostat–and so for people who don’t or can’t appreciate the benefits of this life, those sacrifices can often be too much. My general philosophy is to let people try it out and see if it works for them, but on the other hand, packing everything up and moving to rural Missouri is a lot to just “try” a new life.
So yeah, I’ve been thinking about who gets to live here, who doesn’t, and how we can decide that using a process that feels both kind and fair, and finds the best match for everyone, whatever that even means.
Lots of big questions that I don’t have answers to, but that I look forward to discussing more with other committee members and villagers.
In the meantime, I’ll be here gazing at my tree and the adorable dried orange decorations Max made while he was home last week and considering getting back in bed to read a little more as I wait for the house to warm up.
Christina Lovdal Gil is a regular contributing writer to this publication, and has been for years now. Many thanks to you, Christina, for your community insights put into words.