by Juan Borla, a truly great ape
Dancing Rabbit is a place of variety. Yet, everyone who lives here has at least
one thing in common-we've all decided that moving to an ecovillage is a good
idea. 
For me, the hard part of moving here wasn't the actual move; it was telling those I cared about what I was doing. In the process of telling everyone I know and love why I was moving here, I learned a lot of things about communicating difficult topics.
First and foremost, don't be vague. Be honest and direct about what you're doing. When I first told my father about where I was going, I made this place sound like a small town where I had a job lined up-not a lie per se, but certainly a half-truth. I didn't mention that I was going to live in an ecovillage, or that my "job" was essentially odd jobs with a personal project or two for income. When the whole truth finally came out, he had less trouble understanding why I wanted to move here than he did understanding why I had been misleading.
Similarly, be clear on your reasons for making your decision. I made the mistake of being vague on why life here appealed to me. I used reasons I thought would sound good to my listener, rather than those on which I'd actually based my decision. When I sat down and thought about it, I came up with a pretty short list of why life here appealed to me, and used it when explaining to some of my friends. They understood almost immediately. I heard "I could never do that" more than once, but came to realize that it didn't mean "This is a bad idea for you."
Next, be prepared to be the topic of conversation. One of the things I wasn't expecting was how quickly word of my decision would get around. The idea of someone moving to an ecovillage seems to be a wonderful conversation starter. As a result, I ended up facing a great deal of misunderstanding. One coworker in particular approached me to ask if it was true I was being "kidnapped by hippies," which I found hilarious. There's a lot of prejudices associated with certain words, like "commune," which can be difficult to overcome. I needed a lot of patience to do so.
Be ready to repeat yourself a lot. I actually found how often I had to repeat myself quite challenging. Thinking back, it may have been easier simply to tell everyone at a party or some other get-together so I wouldn't have to tell the same story ten times. On the other hand, by the last few people I had that whole honest-and-direct thing down pat.
Also, try not to fear what you think your listener's reaction will be. Particularly when telling relatives, I found it easy to be afraid of their reaction, which came across as hesitation. I actually took inspiration from my partner Amy in this; she was excited about her choice, and conveyed that excitement well. When I started describing what I was doing with the emotions I actually felt, excitement and pride, I found my audience much more receptive.
These are the lessons I learned while explaining why I moved here. Now that it's all done, I feel understood and supported by those who care about me. The lessons I learned during this process have helped me a great deal in explaining other things since, things unrelated to Dancing Rabbit. I hope you can benefit from my experiences, even if you aren't being "kidnapped by hippies."
Child's Play*
Levels of Closeness*
Ask a Rabbit*
Paths of Growth*
A Moving Story*
Nature Corner*
Back to Newsletter Archives
Intentional Community Bookstore