by Tony Sirna, silverback
When we first conceived of Dancing Rabbit it was clear that ecological sustainability was at the core of our vision, and today that core is still what unifies us.
Yet from the very start, we realized that cooperation and a sense of community would be essential ingredients in reaching our goals, and in experiencing fulfilling lives. Personally, I always saw community as both a means to an end (of creating an example of sustainable living) and an end in and of itself.
I
don't think either the desire for community, nor the recognition of its power,
is found only among eco-freaks or those seeking cooperative living. In fact,
I feel like it is a basic human desire like love or friendship that often goes
unmet in our culture.
While everyone is unique, I have observed that there seems to be a basic need for certain kinds of connections that takes the shape of a pyramid. At the tip are your most intimate connections- partner, lover, spouse, or maybe your closest friends. At the next level are your friends, your immediate family, or anyone you feel close enough to care deeply about. Beyond that might be a small or vast pool of your extended family, friends of friends, coworkers, and neighbors. People you know and feel a connection with, but aren't necessarily close with. Beyond that are the people you know and recognize, spreading out to everyone else in the world.
In some ways, having a healthy balance of all of the
above is what gives one a sense of community. In other ways, it is the middle
layers of this pyramid that constitute what people generally call community,
especially when they are saying they want more of it in their lives.
And all around us we can see ways that people seek community. For many, it's found by joining a congregation based on religion or faith, a political movement, or engaging in a hobby or sport. And-for all too few these days-it's found in extended family, or in being rooted in a small and stable social unit (as was apparently the norm in pre-industrial times).
For all of us, it is a lifetime's work. It's not something that can be accomplished and then checked off of a list. Having community is something we must constantly build and maintain throughout our lives. Unfortunately, many of us are stuck starting almost from scratch, and even find ourselves needing to start over again as we move from place to place or as our community changes around us.
At Dancing Rabbit I feel blessed to have much of my community pyramid full. The thing I still lack, as I think most people do at DR, is the wide base of the pyramid. In our community of just 30 or so people, located in a rural area as we are, I think many of us yearn for that larger pool of acquaintances in our lives. And you'd be surprised how important having acquaintances is.
For one thing, it is very comforting to have a large enough pool of people to draw from to form deeper connections. Where do you find love and friendship? Well, usually from your pool of acquaintances (or, these days, I suppose from the internet :-)
For
another, it can be hard for people to feel like everyone knows everything about
them. It can be quite valuable to have people in your life who don't know you
are in crisis, and just treat you normally and expect you to act normally in
kind. For example, your co-workers don't need to know you are having a fight
with your partner, and thus work can sometimes give you some needed escape or
downtime.
Of course, many at DR also feel some emptiness at the top of their pyramid.
People looking for love or more deep friendships are not uncommon here, especially
among new people. And yet, living in an ecovillage or intentional community
is no guarantee that one will be able to fill those gaps. Right now, I think
DR excels at filling that role of extended family, but I think the lack of base
and peak are both real and connected issues for us. I think as we have a large
enough pool, finding close friends and love will be easier.
Hopefully, as we grow we can still maintain the feeling of connectedness we get from those middle levels. I think I am finally getting what my dad must have had growing up when there were a dozen siblings and cousins in the area, and grandparents, aunts, and uncles were truly present in his life - not just at the holidays.
Child's Play*
Levels of Closeness*
Ask a Rabbit*
Paths of Growth*
A Moving Story*
Nature Corner*
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