In Dreams and Waking

It’s perfect! After a full day’s work everything looks great; it came out exactly how I planned it. The weather was crisp and warm, the work was simple, and I was extremely productive. It looks like I will be moving into my house earlier than planned. All is great. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

Then... I wake up!

This is how my dreams have gone for the past few months. It is quite frustrating to experience everything in my “dream world” and then have to do it “again” in reality. Things have not been so simple in the real world. There are many unexpected setbacks.

When I have an idea but don’t know exactly how to make it happen, I ask my friends who have building experience and each of them gives me different answers and conflicting advice. When I need a tool I wonder, should I just ask to borrow it from a friend, or is this the type of tool I will need constantly and which might be worth investing in? How do I complete this job when I need more than my own two hands, but everyone else is busy with co’s own projects? Which step do I do next? Why are my measurements wrong? Why has it rained all week? Why didn’t someone warn me that the way I am doing something might not work? Why isn’t there a manual to tell me when to jump and how high!!!?

This building thing is aggravating, scary, and extremely rewarding. If I mess up, there is no one to blame but myself. I am in charge here. I do the research and choose the materials. I show up to the work site. I choose when to slack off. I make the decisions. By building I am making a commitment to live here; I can’t pack up and hit the road with a day’s notice anymore. When I plant trees on my warren or inoculate mushroom logs I know that I will have to be patient and wait multiple years before I get to taste the results of my labor. Every small thing I do is one more step to having a home, designed and made by me. How many people from my past will be able to say, “this is the house that I built?”

Building my own home is one of the things that scared me about moving to Dancing Rabbit, yet it is also one of the things that excites me the most about living here. Even though every small detail is not working out the way I had hoped, I am learning and experiencing. Someday soon I will be rewarded for my work by having a roof over my head that I created myself.

March Hare Spring 2008 Issue 56

The Year of Mud		Dreams and Waking
Deconstruction 101		Profiles
Jan’s Autobiography

Come see our past issues for lots of Dancing Rabbit information.