SEEDS OF A NEW LIFE -- Travelogues #3

When Dancing Rabbit officially applied for not-for-profit status, they had to put together a board of directors. I was asked to serve on the board at that time (a little over a year ago). At that time I started committing some volunteer time to the organization. My first project was to help DR get an internship program going. I'm happy to say that the program was a phenomenal success and truly a beneficial program for the 6 interns and for DR. To help us improve the program for next year, I sent exit questionnaires to all of the interns this Fall. What struck me most from the responses was that several of the interns wrote something to the following effect: "While I came to DR to learn more about organic gardening, I hadn't expected to learn so much about myself and my own life. That was really what made this internship so great."
It is this same quality about the life here that draws me to this place. The project has the cohesion that comes from a clear focus, namely ecological living, but there is so much more going on here. For one, people here are truly committed to supporting everyone else emotionally. This is not at all to say that the interpersonal conflicts that arise everywhere in human interactions don't occurr here. Naturally, conflicts small and large arise at times. But here, people are committed to working those problems out and providing a safe emotional space for others and self. I'm not sure of the best way to describe this, but the effect can be profound.
For example, before each weekly business meeting, the group goes around and does "check-ins". Basically, each person takes some time to let everyone know how she or he is feeling, in general or specifically about the topics on the agenda. This simple idea might sound like a nightmare or it might sound unimportant, but it totally changes how people interact. For one, knowing what emotional state people are bringing to a meeting makes it much easier to understand and therefore really hear what people are saying during a meeting. It takes the hidden factors that really rule many meetings and is up front about them, thereby eliminating much of the politics and guessing games that can come up. Of course people still have greatly varying opinions on topics -- it doesn't somehow make everyone think the same. But it allows people to respect and understand others' viewpoints instead of having to shore up and just staunchly defend your own view against the unknown. Perhaps I sound like too harsh of a judge of regular meetings. I've been in many a meeting that accomplished its tasks just fine without this approach. However, I have also seen destructive political manuevering or misunderstandings that not only slowed down or impeded progress in the meeting, but in some cases also resulted in or contributed to the emotional burn-out of the participants.
I have also enjoyed the integration of many different elements of my life here. My socializing, my work, my hobbies, etc. are allowed much blurrier divisions if I want them. I've had past jobs where the job was fine, but I didn't have any real friends at work. I did my work and accomplished my tasks with dedication and pride, but then returned home to do what I really wanted. Here, if I am working on something that I don't find personally exciting (which still happens of course, despite the fact that the overall project is one I'm personally excited about), I can usually find someone else to do it with. Suddenly, it turns into a social event and then otherwise menial tasks become much more fun. Or if it's a nice day, I can often pull the work outside and then absorb the sun, feel the breeze, smell the grass while doing otherwise unexciting work. It's great. And of course, most of the work is something I feel personally aligned with, which is a whole other improvement over most work.
Or even just the fact that so many different people are around doing a wide variety of things. I can be sitting on the couch reading a book while someone is doing web design at the computer, someone else is cooking dinner and listening to some great album, two other people are discussing US political instutitutions in the other room, and another person is building something outside. There are a wealth of things, interests, etc. around and one evening could easily evolve from physical activity to intellectual stimulation to just hanging out and telling jokes to alone-time.
This is a pretty scattered approach to what I'm trying to say. Let me take another stab. It's about integration. Instead of separating my work from my personal life, I combine them and both are enriched. Instead of separating my intellectual pursuits from physical work, I am better able to engage in both simultaneously if I want to. Instead of my spirituality being something reserved for special occaisions, occasional meditations or unexpected surpises, it is woven into my work, my food, my walk home, etc. Not that this isn't possible in other places, but for me it's easier to remain open to that here. For example, for years I've been interested in getting a firmer connection to the natural cycles of this world, of God's creation if that term works for you. Walking and biking to work in Evanston was a big step closer to that, which was great. Life here is a big leap further in that direction. Animal life is ever present and provides constant unexpected suprises and connections. Plant life is everpresent and abundant, even in the dead of winter. One cannot help but stare at the glory of the dense stars visible on any night that isn't cloudy. You can see more stars here during the full moon than you can under perfect viewing conditions in Chicago. And maybe it's just stargazing, which I didn't miss too much when I didn't have it, but the effect runs deeper than I can accurately describe and I'm loathe to leave it behind.

The seed was planted a long time ago. I first began consciously watering it a few years ago. And now, the shoots have begun to break the surface. From here on out, I intend to help this tree grow. My life will be lived consciously. My spirit will not be divided from my day to day life. Meaning will be present in the work that I devote time to. Art will suffuse my life.

This edition of the travelogues hasn't said much about what I've been doing for the past two weeks, namely helping planning for DR's goals and projects for '99. It's incredibly exciting work, which I would love to share, but somehow this doesn't seem to be the time to go into it.