Interpersonal Communication

Living so closely day to day with so many people will inevitably bring up conflicts. Some will be small (dirty dishes, being late for an appointment, etc.) and some will be major (differences in core beliefs, deep emotional hurt, etc.). Many of us have learned to avoid conflict because it can be so painful. We have very skilled avoidance or defensive techniques to avoid the issue or to avoid letting it get to us.

At DR we strive to work with conflict in a manner where we don't shy away from the issues but instead we take the time to talk things over and work them out. It's not always easy and we often don't do as well as we'd like, but we do make a real effort to bring up feelings when we have them and address them with the people involved and affected by them.

One way that we do this is by having what we call Interpersonal Meetings (although they aren't really meetings - more of a gathering). With the whole group (or whoever is available) we try to make a space that is safe for people to bring up issues that are affecting their lives. They could be personal issues (struggles within yourself) or interpersonal, conflict with another or with the group. We try to create a space where people can feel supported in the process, or, if so desired, mediation can be used.

This group space is a great community builder but it doesn't meet all people's needs for interpersonal work all the time. We also try to make a commitment to make space in smaller groups or one on one to discuss issues or give support. It can sometimes be hard to confront people with issues but we try to prioritize making time to deal with issues as they come up.